British Star Trek

The daily create for September 2nd was to pick a scene from a movie and add British slang into the scene. I decided I wanted to take a scene from Star Trek Into Darkness where Captain Kirk and Spock confront Khan to figure out who he is and why there were people hidden in 72 torpedoes. Have fun reading through my version of British Star Trek and see if you can find the slang I threw into it.

Kirk: “Why is there a man in that torpedo?”

Khan: “There are men and women in all those torpedoes, Captain. I put them there.”

Kirk: “Who the hell are you?”

Khan: “A remnant of a time long past. Genetically engineered to be superior, blinding so as to lead others to peace in a world at war. But we were condemned as criminals, forced into exile. For centuries we slept, hoping when we awoke, things would be different. But as a result of the destruction of Vulcan, your Starfleet began to aggressively search distant quadrants of space. My ship was found adrift. I alone was revived.”

Kirk: “I looked up ‘John Harrison.’ Until a year ago, he didn’t exist. I was gobsmacked. The name ‘John Harrison’ is a load of tosh, complete rubbish I tell you.”

Khan: “John Harrison was a fiction created the moment I was awoken by your Admiral Marcus to help him advance his cause. A smokescreen to conceal my true identity. My name is Khan.”

Kirk: “Why would a Starfleet Admiral ask a 300-year-old frozen man for help, mate?”

Khan: “Because I am better.”

Kirk: “Nice one, really. At what, wanker?”

Khan: “Everything. Alexander Marcus needed to respond to an uncivilized threat in a civilized time and for that he needed a warrior’s mind. My mind. To design weapons and warships.”

Spock: “You are suggesting the Admiral violated every regulation he vowed to uphold simply because he wanted to exploit your intellect.”

Khan: “He wanted to exploit my savagery. Intellect alone is useless in a fight, Mr. Spock. You… You can’t even break a rule. How would you be expected to break bone? Marcus used me to design weapons. To help him realize his vision of a militarized Starfleet. He sent you to use those weapons. To fire my torpedoes on an unsuspecting planet. And then he purposely crippled your ship in enemy space, leading to one inevitable outcome. The Klingons would come searching for whomever was responsible, and you would have no chance of escape. Marcus would finally have the war he talked about. The war he always wanted.”

Kirk: “Oh bollocks. No. No. I watched you open fire in a room full of unarmed Starfleet officers. You killed them in cold blood!”

Khan: “Marcus took my crew from me.”

Kirk: “You are a murderer!”

Khan: “He used my friends to control me. I tried to smuggle them to safety by concealing them in the very weapons I had designed, but I was discovered. I had no choice but to escape alone. And when I did, I had every reason to suspect that Marcus had killed every single one of the people I hold most dear. I was gutted, so I responded in kind. My crew is my family, Kirk. Is there anything you would not do for your family?”

StarTrekIntoDarkness

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